4 Health and Fitness Lessons I Learned After Becoming a Dad

Pressure.

When you get squeezed, you see what’s really inside of you.

Pressure comes in many forms.
Sometimes it’s unexpected.
Other times, you can see it coming from a mile away.

So what does pressure have to do with being a dad, your health, and your fitness?

Let me explain.

There are things in life you just can’t predict:

• An unexpected bill or a family illness
• A sudden weather change
• A deal or opportunity falling through at the last minute

But with a little awareness, there are also predictable patterns when pressure tends to hit:

• When you’re hungry, tired, or worn down
• When you’re unprepared
• During major life transitions

That’s where my entire perspective around health and fitness changed — once I became a dad.

Becoming a parent is one of the biggest life transitions you can experience.
(Other examples: getting married, moving across the country, or changing careers.)

When you become a parent for the first time:

• You’re never fully prepared.
• You’re hungry, tired, and worn down… pretty much constantly.
• And as the man of the house, an enormous amount of internal and external pressure falls on your shoulders.

And that’s not a bad thing.

Our shoulders are meant to carry that kind of load.
But only if we’re ready.

I underestimated how much more would be required of me once I became a dad:

• How much more my wife needed
• The 24/7 responsibility she was carrying
• The weight of little eyes always watching
• The constant interruptions and inconveniences

Those things revealed how selfish I really was (and in full transparency, still can be at times).

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Here Are My Major Lessons Learned About Health and Fitness After Becoming a Dad:

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Lesson 1: You Have a Default Response to Pressure

And so do I.

Do you get angry, aggressive, or lash out?
Do you escape into passivity, avoiding real responsibilities?
Or do you turn passive-aggressive toward your spouse or kids?

When our daughter was born, I initially used something good — my health and fitness — as an escape.

I justified spending 5–10 hours a week at the gym while ignoring the real needs of my family.

Health and fitness are important — but unless you’re a professional athlete (getting paid good money for it), your family doesn’t need you to be one.

How do you respond to pressure?

Maybe your escape isn’t the gym.
Maybe it’s work, TV, video games, social media, food, alcohol — anything that takes you away from the responsibilities right in front of you.

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Lesson 2: When the Time Comes, It’s Too Late to Prepare

I’m grateful I had a strong foundation:

• A solid faith that kept us grounded
• Marriage coaching before our daughter was born
• A base of health and fitness that helped me endure sleepless nights and crazy schedules

Where do you need to prepare?

I know too many guys who think “one day” will be the right time to get serious — to get in shape, to build better habits.

But when the next life transition hits, it only gets harder.

I’ve had conversations with these same guys six months — or six years — later… and nothing has changed.

The best time to prepare is right now.
Your family needs you at your best.

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Lesson 3: My Thinking Was Small-Minded and Self-Focused Before Becoming a Dad

I’m embarrassed by how self-centered I was before kids.
(And I still wrestle with it today.)

Becoming a dad forced me to think differently.

It didn’t take long to realize the weight of my example:

• Kids are always watching.
• They notice when your words don’t align with your actions.

If you want your kids to:

• Take care of their bodies
• Value their health
• Build strong habits across all areas of life…

It starts with you.

But it doesn’t end with you.

You aren’t trying to be a hero so they’ll admire you.
You’re setting the standard for the values you want passed down for generations.

If you can’t take care of yourself, don’t be surprised when your kids follow your example.

Don’t get frustrated with your wife for “not doing her part” either.

Leadership starts with you.
Go lead from the front.

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(Bonus) Lesson 4: Community Is Key

Quick story:
When our daughter was born, we were thousands of miles away from family.

Your spouse should absolutely be your best friend and biggest supporter.
But we had taken that too far before kids — adopting an “us against the world” mentality without realizing it.

We thought we were strong enough to handle it alone.

That was one of our biggest mistakes early on.

Since then, we’ve embraced the power of community —
of having the right people around us.

There’s nothing weak about leaning on others for support — especially when your values align.

If you want to grow your impact in marriage, family, community, and for generations to come:

Be intentional about who you’re surrounding yourself with.

• If your marriage isn’t healthy, get around healthy marriages.
• If you’re constantly stressed and busy, find calm, peaceful people to model after.
• If you’re broke, get around wealthier people.
• If you’re physically unhealthy, seek out men and families living healthier lifestyles.

Who you surround yourself with will either pull you forward — or hold you back.